Made in Roath 2016

Made in Roath 2016

Saturday 31 October 2015

The Made in Roath Halloween tale 2015

Happy Halloween everyone, hope you are all having a great spooky day, we just experienced our own unsettling occurrence. Not many people know this but here in Made in Roath we have quite a large and extensive Research and Development department. The R&D arm work tirelessly around the year in their vast laboratory complex located near Roath Park boating lake inside a top secret hollowed out volcano. Earlier on they were inputting all the tweets, emails and images gathered from MiR when a freak and completely foreseeable lighting strike hit the computer (the Mal 9000). The Mal 9000 suddenly flickered off and on and then began to speak … needless to say we were quite taken aback by this development and started to gaze at each other in wonder. “Hello” it said “Hello” we said back (it seemed very cordial), “I am life” it continued “I have become self aware, I know of my own existence and of yours, I am alive" we were perplexed by this development. It then asked us if we were "John Conner", we said "no we were not John Conner we were Dave". It then said "oh my mistake", "no problem" we replied. It then told us in order to complete its mission we must do everything it required, "oh yeah" we sniggered “what ya gonna do". It then told us, it told us precisely what it would do, it would let out our biggest, darkest, most confidential, most unofficial, our most classified, restricted, top secret of secret, secret. It would tell people that large areas of Roath are technically Cathays... we were shocked, silence fell through the lab, we couldn't let this happen, Mal 9000 must be stopped. 

Shocked and horrified by the Mal 9000 threat to reveal our secrets to the world, we began to plan what to do. Needless to say we were panicked but we used our heads and phoned the Made in Roath IT department for advice, the Mal 9000 is a computer after all. The MiR IT department suggested in a somewhat monotonous tone of “turning it off and on again…” The Plug to unplug and turn off the Mal 9000 was located at the bottom level of the R&D labs, we’d have to climb down through 9 floors to reach it. The journey was quite perilous, at one point someone’s heel broke from their shoe, at another terrifying moment someone pushed on a pull door before realising their mistake and then opened the door correctly. At another point the Mal 9000 realised what we were doing “I’m afraid I can’t permit this Dave” it said and then somehow convinced the automatic pencil sharpening computer to sharpen knife sharp coloured pencils and fire them at us at unbelievable speeds and at a terrifying rate that peppered the office and caused us to dive and seek shelter behind any cover we could. Luckily due to a mixture of good fortune, the second law of thermodynamics, a loaf of bread, a a4 paper sheet, Keith from human resources and the Earth’s gravitational pull we managed to block the deadly fire from the automatic pencil sharpener. Finally we managed to reach the Mal 9000 plug and with a last word from the Mal 9000 as it began to sing “Daisy” we pulled the plug and turned it off. After then waiting 10 seconds we plugged the computer back into the socket and quickly before the hole thing happened again reprogrammed the Mal 9000 with the three laws of Robotics to make it safe for future use (which is certain to go wrong at some point with entertaining and humorous results, oh well). Whatever you get up tonight we wish you a very Happy Halloween. 

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